THE ASS WIPES NETWORK
Fighting For Clean Asses Worldwide! We Want All Home & Businesses To Be Ass Wipe Compliant By 2012!
" Ass Wipes! There Not Just For Babies Anymore"
"Why!?! Why can't ass wipes just be for me anymore?"
Epil-Stop
Wipe-Away Pre-Moistened Cloth Ass Wipes.
Now wiping your ass & removing unsightly hair has never been easier.
Why not kill two birds with one stone and get these great time saving ass wipes
today! Only
$19.95. {Disclaimer: Asswipes.Net is
not responsible to any burns or injuries to your ass as a result of using hair
removal wipes}
Oh
how we all yearn to have those rare non-wiper bowel movements that come out with
just the right amount of moisture. For most of us its only once in a blue
moon when some magical series of events in our diet come together in just the
right way. If your a member of the all day coffee and soda drinkers club
then you know the daily pain of diarrhea and its messing splattering
results. Most of the time dry toilet paper doesn't get the job done?
Wetting it doesn't work especially when your dealing with the cheap stuff.
You know that hellish feeling you have when your ass just doesn't feel clean all
day, and you can't take a shower or bath. Just take a real good look at your light colored underwear at the end of the
day. Unless your a baby or super rich then you probably don't have a
personal ass wiper (mom, nanny or servant). If your just rich you may have
a bidet (a sink for your ass) or it's not good enough and its messing up the towels? Trying to
position your ass in such a way as to only clean it in a sink or bath tub is
nearly impossible. Its to much of
a pain to take a whole shower & bath just to get your ass clean.
Although we knew this guy who would take a shower, get dressed, and be about to
leave for a night on the town when all of the sudden he had to use the
toilet. Several minutes later he was in the shower again for 5
minutes. The same guy who so does not know how to wipe his ass that he
left a poop pellet on a blanket that other people use! Do people sitting down gag when you walk past them because of your smell?
You probably don't even know it because no
one ever has the guts to tell you to
your face. Perhaps your a teacher who likes to walk among the students
during class and your ass is right at face level of the students sitting
down. Notice any of them with disgusted looks on their faces. Its
not your teaching...its your sick smelly ass! Maybe the wipes left on
your desk mean that YOU STINK! If you know someone who smells then anonymously give them a box
of ass wipes. Be sure to leave a note because they may be to dumb to get
the hint! The sad fact is that once you perform a bowel movement
(pooping) that
requires more than one square of toilet paper then your ass isn't going to be
really clean. It's time once again to start using ass wipes otherwise known as baby wipes. If
they are good enough to clean a babies ass then by golly they sure are good enough for your
ass. These miracle wet wipes are like a mini bath for your butt. Now you can buy them online from the menu below so no one needs to
know your dirty little secret. Ass wipes are also great for make-up
removal & impromptu sponge baths. Be sure to get travel size ones or
carry some in a plastic bag at all times so your ass can be kept in pristine
condition all day long. As always don't forget your babies
and toddlers who really need the bulk of wipes to keep their baby fresh
smell. Oh, and those special kids who wear those new child Depends. And
don't think we forgot you seniors. Between old man stink and a day of crapping your
Depends
you are going to need a lot of ass wiping. If you reside at a
nursing home and you still have your mental faculties then please ask your
lucky geriatric care provider about getting your ass wiped in style.
After all you deserve only the best in your golden years. All the
above probably doesn't apply if your a constipation artist who couldn't expel a
log if his life depended on it. If your poopies are backing up through your
intestines then click here to buy a colon
cleansing product to get the bowels
rocking again. So click here or choose a brand of
ass wipe
or baby wipe from the menu below to have them delivered to your home.
Remember that a clean ass builds confidence and self-esteem. When your ass
is clean there isn't nothing you can't accomplish in life. The day that the
human digestive system becomes 100% efficient for the fuel (food) we feed it,
producing no waste product is the day we will no longer need ass wipes so
urgently! Good shopping &
good luck with your valiant ass cleaning efforts.
If after reading all this you still refuse or don't have the guts to buy ass wipes from us so we can make big ass money then at least click here to buy some toilet paper or other personal products.
"Wetter Is Better". As reported about the new
trend sweeping the nation providing the luxury of baby wipes for adults about Kleenex
Cottonelle Flushable Moist Wipes on Comedy
Centrals, The Daily Show.
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Only The Highest Quality Wipes Are Allowed On The Ass Wipe Network!
Be sure to add this page to your favorites or bookmark it so you can return each time to purchase your favorite wipes with just one click of the mouse. If your wipe isn't here then contact us and we will include it in our menu.
Ever Wonder About Poop? Then Click Here To Learn What Poop Is All About!
See The Opera Baby Sing About The Poopy In His Diaper!
See The New Five Ply AssWipes Toilet Paper!
Visit The Embarrassment Shoppe To Buy Other Products You Might Only Want To Buy In The Privacy Of Your Own Home At http://www.shoppe.sh/embarrassment/.
Big Ass Fans! When You Need To Cool Your Big Ass Down! http://www.BigAssFans.Com .
Miscellaneous Related Items
Kleenex
Cottonelle - Flushable Moist Wipes with Aloe, Travel Size Pouch.
After You Buy Your Travel Size Wipes
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Of Approval